From owner-topten@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET Tue Aug 1 07:27 PDT 1995 Received: from franc.ucdavis.edu by peseta.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id HAA07082; Tue, 1 Aug 1995 07:27:38 -0700 Received: from allison.clark.net by franc.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id HAA11719; Tue, 1 Aug 1995 07:26:55 -0700 Received: from allison (allison.clark.net [168.143.0.3]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with SMTP id KAA26983; Tue, 1 Aug 1995 10:05:12 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.CLARK.NET by LISTSERV.CLARK.NET (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8a) with spool id 241826 for TOPTEN@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET; Tue, 1 Aug 1995 03:21:16 -0400 Received: from access1.digex.net (qlBpsbx4xWXMo@access1.digex.net [205.197.245.192]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with ESMTP id DAA26364 for ; Tue, 1 Aug 1995 03:21:13 -0400 Received: (from handal@localhost) by access1.digex.net (8.6.12/8.6.12) id DAA15454 ; for topten@listserv.clark.net; Tue, 1 Aug 1995 03:20:57 -0400 X-Mailer: ELM [version 2.4 PL24beta] MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Approved-By: Richard Handal Message-ID: <199508010720.DAA15454@access1.digex.net> Date: Tue, 1 Aug 1995 03:20:56 -0400 Reply-To: "David Letterman's Top-10" Sender: "David Letterman's Top-10" From: Richard Handal Subject: TOP TEN LIST - Mon 7/31/95 To: Multiple recipients of list TOPTEN Content-Type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII Content-Length: 2091 Status: RO > From New York: Humidity at wholesale prices ... it's THE TOP TEN LIST for Monday, July 31, 1995. And now, a man who thinks there's no such thing as too much sauce ... David Letterman! > From the home office in Grand Rapids, Michigan ... TOP TEN CHILI DAVIS' COMPLAINTS ABOUT FANS 10. When your hand is too tired from signing autographs to make a fist 9. They get all huffy when you crack their skull with a Louisville Slugger 8. Don't understand the pressure of making $18,000 per at bat 7. When they give me their liver -- and I don't need a new liver! 6. When fans try to adjust your cup 5. After you finish bloodying their nose, they almost never share their nachos with you 4. They keep confusing him with Pittburgh Pirates' "Hungarian Goulash Davis" 3. Don't understand that it's hard to keep your temper under control when you're full of steroids 2. Think only New York players can act like jerks 1. Can't take a punch Compiled for the vacationing Sue Trowbridge by Richard Handal ---------------------------------------- LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN 11:35 p.m. ET/PT (10:35 CT/MT) on the CBS Television Network ---------------------------------------- On Tuesday's show, Dave welcomes ... comedian/actress ROSIE O'DONNELL ... musician JIMMIE BUFFET ... chef GEORGE PERRIER ** YOYODYNE IS HIRING. Can you help? ** Yoyodyne Entertainment is growing! We'll pay a $500 bounty to anyone who refers someone to us who we eventually hire. Send e-mail to jobs@yoyo.com for details. The Top Ten List is Copyright (C) 1995 Worldwide Pants, Incorporated. Used with permission. The latest Top Ten can be retrieved at any time by sending e-mail to topten@infomania.com To leave the list, mail listserv@listserv.clark.net with the message SIGNOFF TOPTEN To join the list, mail same with the message SUBSCRIBE TOPTEN Your Name To retrieve old Top Tens, mail same with the message GET TOPTEN ARCHIVE From owner-topten@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET Tue Aug 8 01:23 PDT 1995 Received: from franc.ucdavis.edu by peseta.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id BAA03308; Tue, 8 Aug 1995 01:23:17 -0700 Received: from allison.clark.net by franc.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id BAA02341; Tue, 8 Aug 1995 01:22:29 -0700 Received: from allison (allison.clark.net [168.143.0.3]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with SMTP id EAA09090; Tue, 8 Aug 1995 04:16:04 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.CLARK.NET by LISTSERV.CLARK.NET (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8a) with spool id 243747 for TOPTEN@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET; Tue, 8 Aug 1995 00:17:42 -0400 Received: from kitten.mcs.com (Kitten.mcs.com [192.160.127.90]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with ESMTP id AAA23104 for ; Tue, 8 Aug 1995 00:17:40 -0400 Received: from mailbox.mcs.com (Mailbox.mcs.com [192.160.127.87]) by kitten.mcs.com (8.6.10/8.6.9) with SMTP id XAA16111 for ; Mon, 7 Aug 1995 23:16:56 -0500 Received: by mailbox.mcs.com (/\==/\ Smail3.1.28.1 #28.5) id ; Mon, 7 Aug 95 23:16 CDT Received: by mercury.mcs.com (/\==/\ Smail3.1.28.1 #28.5) id ; Mon, 7 Aug 95 23:16 CDT X-Mailer: ELM [version 2.4 PL24] Approved-By: Aaron Barnhart Message-ID: Date: Mon, 7 Aug 1995 23:16:52 -0500 Reply-To: "David Letterman's Top-10" Sender: "David Letterman's Top-10" From: Aaron Barnhart Subject: TOP TEN LIST - Mon 8/8/95 To: Multiple recipients of list TOPTEN Content-Type: text Content-Length: 2087 Status: RO > From New York: Try our famous pecan logs ... It's THE TOP TEN LIST for Monday, August 8, 1995. And now, a man who's known to a few close friends as "Smokey" ... David Letterman! > From the home office in Grand Rapids, Michigan ... TOP TEN SIGNS OF SLOPPINESS IN THE L.A.P.D. CRIME LAB 10. Test tubes not washed between vodka shots 9. Findings that state "all fingerprints pretty much the same" 8. When they run out of salt, sprinkle DNA on lunch 7. Reports copied word-for-word from old "Quincy" episodes 6. Claimed results showed it was impossible for man to have first name of "Dick" and last name of "Assman" 5. Technician borrowed bloody glove to do some weed-pulling in backyard 4. Blood sample too small? Add some water and red food coloring 3. Somebody keeps using test tubes as way to save a walk to the bathroom 2. No more O.J. blood? just cut yourself 1. Lab director: Rosa Lopez [Music: "Perry Mason Theme" by Fred Steiner] Compiled for the vacationing Sue Trowbridge by Aaron Barnhart ---------------------------------------- LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN 11:35 p.m. ET/PT (10:35 CT/MT) on the CBS Television Network ---------------------------------------- On Tuesday's show, Dave welcomes ... athlete JOHN KRUK ... comedian WAYNE COTTER ... musician JUNIOR BROWN ** YOYODYNE IS HIRING. Can you help? ** Yoyodyne Entertainment is growing! We'll pay a $500 bounty to anyone who refers someone to us who we eventually hire. Send e-mail to jobs@yoyo.com for details. The Top Ten List is Copyright (C) 1995 Worldwide Pants, Incorporated. Used with permission. The latest Top Ten can be retrieved at any time by sending e-mail to topten@infomania.com To leave the list, mail listserv@listserv.clark.net with the message SIGNOFF TOPTEN To join the list, mail same with the message SUBSCRIBE TOPTEN Your Name To retrieve old Top Tens, mail same with the message GET TOPTEN ARCHIVE From owner-topten@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET Wed Aug 9 02:04 PDT 1995 Received: from franc.ucdavis.edu by peseta.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id CAA22483; Wed, 9 Aug 1995 02:04:12 -0700 Received: from allison.clark.net by franc.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id CAA26698; Wed, 9 Aug 1995 02:03:22 -0700 Received: from allison (allison.clark.net [168.143.0.3]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with SMTP id EAA13307; Wed, 9 Aug 1995 04:53:54 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.CLARK.NET by LISTSERV.CLARK.NET (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8a) with spool id 272820 for TOPTEN@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET; Wed, 9 Aug 1995 00:41:23 -0400 Received: from kitten.mcs.com (Kitten.mcs.com [192.160.127.90]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with ESMTP id AAA26772 for ; Wed, 9 Aug 1995 00:41:21 -0400 Received: from venus.mcs.com (root@Venus.mcs.com [192.160.127.92]) by kitten.mcs.com (8.6.10/8.6.9) with SMTP id XAA00864 for ; Tue, 8 Aug 1995 23:40:28 -0500 Received: by venus.mcs.com (/\==/\ Smail3.1.28.1 #28.5) id ; Tue, 8 Aug 95 23:40 CDT Expires: Tue, 15 Aug 95 X-Mailer: ELM [version 2.4 PL24] Approved-By: Aaron Barnhart Message-ID: Date: Tue, 8 Aug 1995 23:40:27 -0500 Reply-To: top-ten-list@mcs.net Sender: "David Letterman's Top-10" From: Aaron Barnhart Subject: TOP TEN LIST - Tue 8/8/95 To: Multiple recipients of list TOPTEN Content-Type: text Content-Length: 2072 Status: RO > From New York: convenient to schools and shopping ... It's THE TOP TEN LIST for Tuesday, August 8, 1995. And now, a man who can't shake his playboy millionaire reputation ... David Letterman! > From the home office in Grand Rapids, Michigan ... TOP TEN ITEMS ON THE WESTINGHOUSE "TO DO" LIST 10. Learn difference between network and a hole in the ground 9. Review pay package of TV host David Letterman 8. Rehire Connie Chung to sell toasters door-to-door 7. Lead story on every CBS newscast: Westinghouse appliances still dependable and affordably priced! 6. Six words: "Dr. Quinn, Totally Nude Medicine Woman" 5. Find out who the hell this "Johnny Carwash" is 4. Have Anna-Nicole Smith keep marrying rival network executives until they're all dead 3. See if Westinghouse engineers can fix Fran Drescher's voice 2. Assemble all employees for a huge party followed by massive layoffs 1. "The Late Show with Dick Assman" Compiled for the vacationing Sue Trowbridge by Aaron Barnhart ---------------------------------------- LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN 11:35 p.m. ET/PT (10:35 CT/MT) on the CBS Television Network ---------------------------------------- On Wednesday's show, Dave welcomes ... broadcaster DAN RATHER ... actor CHRISTOPHER WALKEN ... musician ZIGGY MARLEY ** YOYODYNE IS HIRING. Can you help? ** Yoyodyne Entertainment is growing! We'll pay a $500 bounty to anyone who refers someone to us who we eventually hire. Send e-mail to jobs@yoyo.com for details. The Top Ten List is Copyright (C) 1995 Worldwide Pants, Incorporated. Used with permission. The latest Top Ten can be retrieved at any time by sending e-mail to topten@infomania.com To leave the list, mail listserv@listserv.clark.net with the message SIGNOFF TOPTEN To join the list, mail same with the message SUBSCRIBE TOPTEN Your Name To retrieve old Top Tens, mail same with the message GET TOPTEN ARCHIVE From owner-topten@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET Thu Aug 10 02:22 PDT 1995 Received: from franc.ucdavis.edu by peseta.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id CAA05827; Thu, 10 Aug 1995 02:22:12 -0700 Received: from allison.clark.net by franc.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id CAA05230; Thu, 10 Aug 1995 02:21:22 -0700 Received: from allison (allison.clark.net [168.143.0.3]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with SMTP id FAA12902; Thu, 10 Aug 1995 05:08:26 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.CLARK.NET by LISTSERV.CLARK.NET (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8a) with spool id 284106 for TOPTEN@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET; Thu, 10 Aug 1995 00:45:23 -0400 Received: from kitten.mcs.com (Kitten.mcs.com [192.160.127.90]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with ESMTP id AAA27737 for ; Thu, 10 Aug 1995 00:45:21 -0400 Received: from mailbox.mcs.com (Mailbox.mcs.com [192.160.127.87]) by kitten.mcs.com (8.6.10/8.6.9) with SMTP id XAA12756 for ; Wed, 9 Aug 1995 23:44:18 -0500 Received: by mailbox.mcs.com (/\==/\ Smail3.1.28.1 #28.5) id ; Wed, 9 Aug 95 23:44 CDT Received: by mars.mcs.com (/\==/\ Smail3.1.28.1 #28.5) id ; Wed, 9 Aug 95 23:44 CDT Expires: Wed, 16 Aug 95 X-Mailer: ELM [version 2.4 PL24] Approved-By: Aaron Barnhart Message-ID: Date: Wed, 9 Aug 1995 23:44:15 -0500 Reply-To: top-ten-list@mcs.net Sender: "David Letterman's Top-10" From: Aaron Barnhart Subject: TOP TEN LIST - Wed 8/9/95 To: Multiple recipients of list TOPTEN Content-Type: text Content-Length: 1941 Status: O > From New York: We've got a swim-up bar ... it's THE TOP TEN LIST for Wednesday, August 9, 1995. And now, a man who's made instant fans with his colorful, crowd-pleasing style ... David Letterman! > From the home office in Grand Rapids, Michigan ... TOP TEN THINGS REVEALED IN NEWT GINGRICH EXPOSE 10. Though his name is Newt, he's actually half salamander 9. Can eat a mound of peanuts as big as his head 8. Will make love to wife only after she says, "I yield to the Congressman from Georgia" 7. Once had an actual newt lodged in his Gingrich 6. Does a lot of "pounding the gavel," if you know what I mean 5. For two years, hosted Donahue show 4. Dresses up like Unabomber, sneaks up on congressional aides and pops paper bags 3. His mom now has Connie Chung doing yardwork 2. Recently lost "World's Goofiest Name" title to Dick Assman 1. Four words: Newtie And the Blowfish Compiled for the vacationing Sue Trowbridge by Aaron Barnhart ---------------------------------------- LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN 11:35 p.m. ET/PT (10:35 CT/MT) on the CBS Television Network ---------------------------------------- On Thursday's show, Dave welcomes ... music group VAN HALEN ** YOYODYNE IS HIRING. Can you help? ** Yoyodyne Entertainment is growing! We'll pay a $500 bounty to anyone who refers someone to us who we eventually hire. Send e-mail to jobs@yoyo.com for details. The Top Ten List is Copyright (C) 1995 Worldwide Pants, Incorporated. Used with permission. The latest Top Ten can be retrieved at any time by sending e-mail to topten@infomania.com To leave the list, mail listserv@listserv.clark.net with the message SIGNOFF TOPTEN To join the list, mail same with the message SUBSCRIBE TOPTEN Your Name To retrieve old Top Tens, mail same with the message GET TOPTEN ARCHIVE From owner-topten@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET Fri Aug 11 01:35 PDT 1995 Received: from franc.ucdavis.edu by peseta.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id BAA13772; Fri, 11 Aug 1995 01:35:02 -0700 Received: from allison.clark.net by franc.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id BAA19216; Fri, 11 Aug 1995 01:34:11 -0700 Received: from allison (allison.clark.net [168.143.0.3]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with SMTP id EAA11870; Fri, 11 Aug 1995 04:27:50 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.CLARK.NET by LISTSERV.CLARK.NET (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8a) with spool id 282519 for TOPTEN@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET; Fri, 11 Aug 1995 00:43:20 -0400 Received: from access1.digex.net (qlhMqA0LWqQsA@access1.digex.net [205.197.245.192]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with ESMTP id AAA25362 for ; Fri, 11 Aug 1995 00:43:16 -0400 Received: (from trow@localhost) by access1.digex.net (8.6.12/8.6.12) id AAA16146 ; for ; Fri, 11 Aug 1995 00:42:02 -0400 MIME-Version: 1.0 Approved-By: Sue Trowbridge Message-ID: Date: Fri, 11 Aug 1995 00:42:01 -0400 Reply-To: topten-request@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET Sender: "David Letterman's Top-10" From: Sue Trowbridge Subject: TOP TEN LIST - Thu 8/10/95 To: Multiple recipients of list TOPTEN Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Content-Length: 1963 Status: RO > From New York: The fabled lost city of gold ... it's THE TOP TEN LIST for Thursday, August 10, 1995. And now, the man who paid me to say this ... David Letterman! > From the home office in Grand Rapids, Michigan ... TOP TEN SIGNS YOU'RE IN AN UNSAFE AIRPORT 10. Hijackers are allowed to pre-board 9. Mary Jo Buttafuoco walks through metal detector without her bullet setting it off 8. Machines sell insurance just for your time in the airport 7. White zone for unloading, red zone for reloading 6. You-know-who is there filming a Hertz commercial 5. As you board plane, gate attendant says "You poor son-of-a- bitch" 4. Runways have passing lanes 3. You have to go through a metal detector just to enter the gift shop 2. There are more shots being fired there than at the White House 1. Electronic scanning equipment made by Westinghouse [Music: "Running On Empty" by Jackson Browne] Compiled by Sue Trowbridge ---------------------------------------- LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN 11:35 p.m. ET/PT (10:35 CT/MT) on the CBS Television Network ---------------------------------------- On Friday's show, Dave welcomes ...actor PATRICK STEWART ...athlete MONICA SELES The Top Ten List is Copyright (C) 1995 Worldwide Pants, Incorporated. Used with permission. ** YOYODYNE IS HIRING. Can you help? ** Yoyodyne Entertainment is growing! We'll pay a $500 bounty to anyone who refers someone to us who we eventually hire. Send e-mail to jobs@yoyo.com for details. The latest Top Ten can be retrieved at any time by sending e-mail to TOPTEN@INFOMANIA.COM To leave the list, mail LISTSERV@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET with the message SIGNOFF TOPTEN To join the list, mail same with the message SUBSCRIBE TOPTEN Your Name To retrieve old Top Tens, mail same with the message GET TOPTEN ARCHIVE From owner-topten@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET Sat Aug 12 04:03 PDT 1995 Received: from franc.ucdavis.edu by peseta.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id EAA03673; Sat, 12 Aug 1995 04:03:36 -0700 Received: from allison.clark.net by franc.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id EAA19570; Sat, 12 Aug 1995 04:02:55 -0700 Received: from allison (allison.clark.net [168.143.0.3]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with SMTP id GAA21348; Sat, 12 Aug 1995 06:48:52 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.CLARK.NET by LISTSERV.CLARK.NET (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8a) with spool id 298507 for TOPTEN@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET; Sat, 12 Aug 1995 00:30:15 -0400 Received: from sowebo.charm.net (sowebo.charm.net [199.0.70.21]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with SMTP id AAA29923 for ; Sat, 12 Aug 1995 00:29:43 -0400 Received: from listserv.clark.net by sowebo.charm.net; Sat, 12 Aug 95 00:27 EDT MIME-Version: 1.0 Approved-By: Sue Trowbridge Message-ID: Date: Sat, 12 Aug 1995 00:27:18 -0400 Reply-To: topten-request Sender: "David Letterman's Top-10" From: Sue Trowbridge Subject: TOP TEN LIST - Fri 8/11/95 To: Multiple recipients of list TOPTEN Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Content-Length: 2139 Status: RO > From New York: Soon to be a CBS prime time series ... it's THE TOP TEN LIST for Friday, August 11, 1995. And now, your authorized Westinghouse dealer ... David Letterman! > From the home office in Grand Rapids, Michigan ... TOP TEN OTHER WAYS TO FORFEIT A BASEBALL GAME 10. Have stadium announcer start "outing" players 9. From blimp high above field, drop Babe Ruth onto pitcher's mound 8. Players' blood-alcohol level higher than their on-base percentage 7. Catcher fails to pass local emission standards 6. Fans get to third base with players' wives, if you know what I mean 5. Being caught wearing the still experimental "Wondercup" 4. Have Dick Assman do all the pitching [video clip of Assman pitching] 3. New ball girl? Divine Brown 2. Ask announcer to introduce you as "the Unabatter" 1. Three words: bloody glove day [Music: "Got to Give It Up" by Marvin Gaye] [Last night's music was actually "Jet" by Paul McCartney. Thanks to many alert readers who pointed this out. I blame the mistake on "jet" lag from my vacation!] Compiled by Sue Trowbridge ---------------------------------------- LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN 11:35 p.m. ET/PT (10:35 CT/MT) on the CBS Television Network ---------------------------------------- On Monday's show, Dave welcomes ...actor SCOTT BAKULA ...singer WILLIE NELSON The Top Ten List is Copyright (C) 1995 Worldwide Pants, Incorporated. Used with permission. ** YOYODYNE IS HIRING. Can you help? ** Yoyodyne Entertainment is growing! We'll pay a $500 bounty to anyone who refers someone to us who we eventually hire. Send e-mail to jobs@yoyo.com for details. The latest Top Ten can be retrieved at any time by sending e-mail to TOPTEN@INFOMANIA.COM To leave the list, mail LISTSERV@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET with the message SIGNOFF TOPTEN To join the list, mail same with the message SUBSCRIBE TOPTEN Your Name To retrieve old Top Tens, mail same with the message GET TOPTEN ARCHIVE From owner-topten@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET Tue Aug 15 03:11 PDT 1995 Received: from franc.ucdavis.edu by peseta.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id DAA06552; Tue, 15 Aug 1995 03:11:32 -0700 Received: from allison.clark.net by franc.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id BAA22171; Tue, 15 Aug 1995 01:23:24 -0700 Received: from allison (allison.clark.net [168.143.0.3]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with SMTP id EAA16073; Tue, 15 Aug 1995 04:04:15 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.CLARK.NET by LISTSERV.CLARK.NET (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8a) with spool id 304077 for TOPTEN@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET; Tue, 15 Aug 1995 00:23:58 -0400 Received: from sowebo.charm.net (sowebo.charm.net [199.0.70.21]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with SMTP id AAA29522 for ; Tue, 15 Aug 1995 00:23:54 -0400 Received: from listserv.clark.net by sowebo.charm.net; Tue, 15 Aug 95 00:24 EDT MIME-Version: 1.0 Approved-By: Sue Trowbridge Message-ID: Date: Tue, 15 Aug 1995 00:21:59 -0400 Reply-To: topten-request Sender: "David Letterman's Top-10" From: Sue Trowbridge Subject: TOP TEN LIST - Mon 8/14/95 To: Multiple recipients of list TOPTEN Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Content-Length: 2071 Status: O > From New York: Pan-blackened, Cajun style ... it's THE TOP TEN LIST for Monday, August 14, 1995. And now, your furry puppet pal ... David Letterman! > From the home office in Grand Rapids, Michigan ... TOP TEN THINGS OVERHEARD AT THE ROSS PEROT POLITICAL CONVENTION 10. "Hi, my name is Roger Clinton. I'll be your waiter this evening" 9. "If you're hungry, there's chips and salsa in my ears" 8. "Mr. Perot! I found your 'H' here behind the fern!" 7. "If we call ourselves 'United We Stand,' how come Perot always looks like he's kneeling?" 6. "Here's a chart showing how much more insane I've become since 1992" 5. "I pledge to you, my supporters, that I will enter, drop out and re-enter the presidential race no fewer than 50 times!" 4. "Actually we have met before -- you were my running mate, Admiral Stockdale" 3. "Aaah! There's a nice breeze coming off his ears" 2. "Run for your lives -- it's Nixon!" 1. "Vote Perot/Assman in '96!" [Music: "Crazy" by Patsy Cline] Compiled by Sue Trowbridge ---------------------------------------- LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN 11:35 p.m. ET/PT (10:35 CT/MT) on the CBS Television Network ---------------------------------------- On Tuesday's show, Dave welcomes ...U.S. Congressman SONNY BONO ...singer WILLIE NELSON ** YOYODYNE IS HIRING. Can you help? ** Yoyodyne Entertainment is growing! We'll pay a $500 bounty to anyone who refers someone to us who we eventually hire. Send e-mail to jobs@yoyo.com for details. The Top Ten List is Copyright (C) 1995 Worldwide Pants, Incorporated. Used with permission. The latest Top Ten can be retrieved at any time by sending e-mail to TOPTEN@INFOMANIA.COM To leave the list, mail LISTSERV@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET with the message SIGNOFF TOPTEN To join the list, mail same with the message SUBSCRIBE TOPTEN Your Name To retrieve old Top Tens, mail same with the message GET TOPTEN ARCHIVE From owner-topten@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET Wed Aug 16 00:16 PDT 1995 Received: from franc.ucdavis.edu by peseta.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id AAA22700; Wed, 16 Aug 1995 00:16:48 -0700 Received: from allison.clark.net by franc.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id AAA15935; Wed, 16 Aug 1995 00:15:54 -0700 Received: from allison (allison.clark.net [168.143.0.3]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with SMTP id CAA13404; Wed, 16 Aug 1995 02:53:53 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.CLARK.NET by LISTSERV.CLARK.NET (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8a) with spool id 314236 for TOPTEN@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET; Wed, 16 Aug 1995 00:19:17 -0400 Received: from sowebo.charm.net (sowebo.charm.net [199.0.70.21]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with SMTP id AAA20636 for ; Wed, 16 Aug 1995 00:19:14 -0400 Received: from listserv.clark.net by sowebo.charm.net; Wed, 16 Aug 95 00:18 EDT MIME-Version: 1.0 Approved-By: Sue Trowbridge Message-ID: Date: Wed, 16 Aug 1995 00:18:41 -0400 Reply-To: topten-request Sender: "David Letterman's Top-10" From: Sue Trowbridge Subject: TOP TEN LIST - Tue 8/15/95 To: Multiple recipients of list TOPTEN Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Content-Length: 1998 Status: O > From New York: Six acres of quality used cars ... it's THE TOP TEN LIST for Tuesday, August 15, 1995. And now, the captain of the U.S.S. Entertainment ... David Letterman! > From the home office in Venezuela ... TOP TEN ANNA NICOLE SMITH DATING TIPS 10. Forget the personal ads -- try the intensive care unit 9. Wear something that, even to his failing eyes, will look slutty 8. Always carry some "mad money" for the paramedics 7. Make sure the valet parkers understand, if he dies in the restaurant, you get the car 6. When he wants sex, hide his glasses and put him in bed with a car battery 5. Remind him, "Hey, when you're 160, I'll be 101" 4. Prepare candlelit dinner. If he can blow out candle, you don't want him 3. To convincingly fake excitement during sex, just think about his stock portfolio 2. Good pick-up line: "Can I pre-chew that for you?" 1. Three words: bring extra plasma [Music: "For the Love of Money" by the O'Jays] Compiled by Sue Trowbridge ---------------------------------------- LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN 11:35 p.m. ET/PT (10:35 CT/MT) on the CBS Television Network ---------------------------------------- On Wednesday's show, Dave welcomes ...actress ISABELLA ROSSELINI ** YOYODYNE IS HIRING. Can you help? ** Yoyodyne Entertainment is growing! We'll pay a $500 bounty to anyone who refers someone to us who we eventually hire. Send e-mail to jobs@yoyo.com for details. The Top Ten List is Copyright (C) 1995 Worldwide Pants, Incorporated. Used with permission. The latest Top Ten can be retrieved at any time by sending e-mail to TOPTEN@INFOMANIA.COM To leave the list, mail LISTSERV@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET with the message SIGNOFF TOPTEN To join the list, mail same with the message SUBSCRIBE TOPTEN Your Name To retrieve old Top Tens, mail same with the message GET TOPTEN ARCHIVE From owner-topten@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET Thu Aug 17 02:48 PDT 1995 Received: from franc.ucdavis.edu by peseta.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id CAA13353; Thu, 17 Aug 1995 02:47:56 -0700 Received: from allison.clark.net by franc.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id CAA10161; Thu, 17 Aug 1995 02:47:54 -0700 Received: from allison (allison.clark.net [168.143.0.3]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with SMTP id FAA06535; Thu, 17 Aug 1995 05:36:45 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.CLARK.NET by LISTSERV.CLARK.NET (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8a) with spool id 313543 for TOPTEN@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET; Thu, 17 Aug 1995 00:18:41 -0400 Received: from sowebo.charm.net (sowebo.charm.net [199.0.70.21]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with SMTP id AAA24151 for ; Thu, 17 Aug 1995 00:18:37 -0400 Received: from listserv.clark.net by sowebo.charm.net; Thu, 17 Aug 95 00:18 EDT MIME-Version: 1.0 Approved-By: Sue Trowbridge Message-ID: Date: Thu, 17 Aug 1995 00:18:04 -0400 Reply-To: topten-request Sender: "David Letterman's Top-10" From: Sue Trowbridge Subject: TOP TEN LIST - Wed 8/16/95 To: Multiple recipients of list TOPTEN Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Content-Length: 1929 Status: O > From New York: Home of the magnificent California condor ... it's THE TOP TEN LIST for Wednesday, August 16, 1995. And now, a man who is always looking to get in a little extra cardio work ... David Letterman! > From the home office in Grand Rapids, Michigan ... TOP TEN OTHER REASONS JUDGE ITO MIGHT STEP DOWN 10. Dead have asked him to replace Jerry Garcia 9. Last week, found himself believing something Johnnie Cochran said 8. Has summertime share in the Poconos with Judge Wapner 7. Got one of them "eat-the-crust-first" pizza commercials 6. Last night, broke into Mark Fuhrman's house and tried to O.J. the guy 5. Tired of seeing his reflection in Chris Darden's head 4. Going to be on a new Court-TV show about five real-life judges sharing a loft in London 3. Murder weapon found in his beard 2. Misses Rosa Lopez. Loves Rosa Lopez. Must be with Rosa Lopez. 1. Bad case of bench rash Compiled by Sue Trowbridge ---------------------------------------- LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN 11:35 p.m. ET/PT (10:35 CT/MT) on the CBS Television Network ---------------------------------------- On Thursday's show, Dave welcomes ...author CLIVE BARKER ** YOYODYNE IS HIRING. Can you help? ** Yoyodyne Entertainment is growing! We'll pay a $500 bounty to anyone who refers someone to us who we eventually hire. Send e-mail to jobs@yoyo.com for details. The Top Ten List is Copyright (C) 1995 Worldwide Pants, Incorporated. Used with permission. The latest Top Ten can be retrieved at any time by sending e-mail to TOPTEN@INFOMANIA.COM To leave the list, mail LISTSERV@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET with the message SIGNOFF TOPTEN To join the list, mail same with the message SUBSCRIBE TOPTEN Your Name To retrieve old Top Tens, mail same with the message GET TOPTEN ARCHIVE From owner-topten@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET Thu Aug 17 23:37 PDT 1995 Received: from franc.ucdavis.edu by peseta.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id XAA01803; Thu, 17 Aug 1995 23:37:57 -0700 Received: from allison.clark.net by franc.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id XAA03796; Thu, 17 Aug 1995 23:37:55 -0700 Received: from allison (allison.clark.net [168.143.0.3]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with SMTP id CAA25395; Fri, 18 Aug 1995 02:30:22 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.CLARK.NET by LISTSERV.CLARK.NET (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8a) with spool id 329914 for TOPTEN@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET; Fri, 18 Aug 1995 00:19:41 -0400 Received: from sowebo.charm.net (sowebo.charm.net [199.0.70.21]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with SMTP id AAA27980 for ; Fri, 18 Aug 1995 00:19:37 -0400 Received: from listserv.clark.net by sowebo.charm.net; Fri, 18 Aug 95 00:18 EDT MIME-Version: 1.0 Approved-By: Sue Trowbridge Message-ID: Date: Fri, 18 Aug 1995 00:18:38 -0400 Reply-To: topten-request Sender: "David Letterman's Top-10" From: Sue Trowbridge Subject: TOP TEN LIST - Wed 8/17/95 To: Multiple recipients of list TOPTEN Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Content-Length: 1908 Status: O > From New York: Ask for your complimentary cocktail ... it's THE TOP TEN LIST for Thursday, August 17, 1995. And now, David Letterman! > From the home office in Grand Rapids, Michigan ... TOP TEN SURPRISES IN THE MARK FUHRMAN TAPES 10. Refers to Norwegians as "herring-gorged tundra monkeys" 9. Brags about planting overdue library books at O.J.'s house 8. Admits to crying at that talking pig movie 7. When you play tapes backwards, you hear theme song to "Friends" 6. Judge Ito's nickname around courthouse locker room: "Sir Lance-A-Little" 5. Performs beautiful medley of love duets with Marge Schott 4. Accuses O.J. of killing Anna Nicole Smith's husband 3. Claims he stopped Michael Jackson for speeding, but let him go when he saw it wasn't a black guy 2. Once had a brief sexual encounter with his nightstick 1. Can't spell O.J. Compiled by Sue Trowbridge ---------------------------------------- LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN 11:35 p.m. ET/PT (10:35 CT/MT) on the CBS Television Network ---------------------------------------- On Friday's show, Dave welcomes ...actor BILL COSBY ...author/director CLIVE BARKER ** YOYODYNE IS HIRING. Can you help? ** Yoyodyne Entertainment is growing! We'll pay a $500 bounty to anyone who refers someone to us who we eventually hire. Send e-mail to jobs@yoyo.com for details. The Top Ten List is Copyright (C) 1995 Worldwide Pants, Incorporated. Used with permission. The latest Top Ten can be retrieved at any time by sending e-mail to TOPTEN@INFOMANIA.COM To leave the list, mail LISTSERV@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET with the message SIGNOFF TOPTEN To join the list, mail same with the message SUBSCRIBE TOPTEN Your Name To retrieve old Top Tens, mail same with the message GET TOPTEN ARCHIVE From owner-topten@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET Sun Aug 20 02:20 PDT 1995 Received: from franc.ucdavis.edu by peseta.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id CAA16645; Sun, 20 Aug 1995 02:20:19 -0700 Received: from allison.clark.net by franc.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id CAA03338; Sun, 20 Aug 1995 02:20:17 -0700 Received: from allison (allison.clark.net [168.143.0.3]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with SMTP id FAA11239; Sun, 20 Aug 1995 05:09:29 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.CLARK.NET by LISTSERV.CLARK.NET (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8a) with spool id 350032 for TOPTEN@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET; Sun, 20 Aug 1995 01:36:19 -0400 Received: from sowebo.charm.net (sowebo.charm.net [199.0.70.21]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with SMTP id SAA17403 for ; Sat, 19 Aug 1995 18:08:52 -0400 Received: from listserv.clark.net by sowebo.charm.net; Sat, 19 Aug 95 18:07 EDT MIME-Version: 1.0 Approved-By: Sue Trowbridge Message-ID: Date: Sat, 19 Aug 1995 18:07:54 -0400 Reply-To: topten-request Sender: "David Letterman's Top-10" From: Sue Trowbridge Subject: TOP TEN LIST - Fri 8/18/95 To: Multiple recipients of list TOPTEN Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Content-Length: 2416 Status: O [Resending since this apparently didn't make it out the first time] > From New York: Try our old fashioned griddle cakes ... it's THE TOP TEN LIST for Friday, August 18, 1995. And now, the next face on Mount Rushmore ... David Letterman! > From the home office in Grand Rapids, Michigan ... TOP TEN THINGS LISA MARIE WILL MISS ABOUT BEING MARRIED TO MICHAEL JACKSON 10. Desire she feels when she sees him clutching stuffed bunny on a merry-go-round 9. Say what you want about the freak, but he made a mean omelette 8. At picnics, his old noses made great corn-on-the-cob holders 7. After a night of great sex, Michael would always tell her about it 6. Sneak-previews of Liz Taylor's latest hip X-rays 5. House need cleaning? Just dunk Bubbles the chimp in a bucket of Lysol and let him go nuts! 4. That adorable sheephish way he'd tell her he had to pay off another kid 3. Hyperbaric chamber a great place to keep baked goods fresh 2. Several of his buddies from the Elks lodge were actually quite nice 1. He was always so polite and charming to Elvis [Music: "Theme from Casino Royale"] [Last night's music, from the Mark Fuhrman Top Ten: "Don't Call Me Nigger, Whitey" by Sly and the Family Stone. Thanks to Gregg P. Horan and Les Harris.] Compiled by Sue Trowbridge ---------------------------------------- LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN 11:35 p.m. ET/PT (10:35 CT/MT) on the CBS Television Network ---------------------------------------- On Monday's show, Dave welcomes ...actress SARAH JESSICA PARKER ...singer PATTI SCIALFA ...athlete JIM ABBOTT [Originally broadcast 9/20/93] ** YOYODYNE IS HIRING. Can you help? ** Yoyodyne Entertainment is growing! We'll pay a $500 bounty to anyone who refers someone to us who we eventually hire. Send e-mail to jobs@yoyo.com for details. The Top Ten List is Copyright (C) 1995 Worldwide Pants, Incorporated. Used with permission. The latest Top Ten can be retrieved at any time by sending e-mail to TOPTEN@INFOMANIA.COM To leave the list, mail LISTSERV@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET with the message SIGNOFF TOPTEN To join the list, mail same with the message SUBSCRIBE TOPTEN Your Name To retrieve old Top Tens, mail same with the message GET TOPTEN ARCHIVE From owner-topten@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET Wed Aug 23 01:29 PDT 1995 Received: from franc.ucdavis.edu by peseta.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id BAA29828; Wed, 23 Aug 1995 01:29:05 -0700 Received: from allison.clark.net by franc.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id BAA17720; Wed, 23 Aug 1995 01:28:50 -0700 Received: from allison (allison.clark.net [168.143.0.3]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with SMTP id EAA07894; Wed, 23 Aug 1995 04:20:05 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.CLARK.NET by LISTSERV.CLARK.NET (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8a) with spool id 17464 for TOPTEN@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET; Wed, 23 Aug 1995 00:23:31 -0400 Received: from sowebo.charm.net (sowebo.charm.net [199.0.70.21]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with SMTP id AAA18381 for ; Wed, 23 Aug 1995 00:23:28 -0400 Received: from listserv.clark.net by sowebo.charm.net; Wed, 23 Aug 95 00:22 EDT MIME-Version: 1.0 Approved-By: Sue Trowbridge Message-ID: Date: Wed, 23 Aug 1995 00:22:44 -0400 Reply-To: topten-request Sender: "David Letterman's Top-10" From: Sue Trowbridge Subject: TOP TEN LIST - Tue 8/22/95 To: Multiple recipients of list TOPTEN Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Content-Length: 2100 Status: RO > From New York: Or, you mean, where am I from originally? ... it's THE TOP TEN LIST for Tuesday, August 22, 1995. And now, America's newest majority whip ... David Letterman! > From the home office in Sioux City, Iowa ... TOP TEN REASONS WE'RE GOING TO LONDON [Originally broadcast 5/12/95] 10. I'm trying to move the show to the BBC 9. Kato is crashing at my house for the week 8. I figure, as a rich American with bad hair I've got a good chance with Fergie 7. Squeegee guys with really cool accents 6. Periodically, Ed Sullivan Theater has to be defrosted 5. CBS wants me out of town when they announce they're going out of business 4. It's that time of year when New York starts to smell funny 3. Just an elaborate set-up that lets me screw with some people from Holland 2. For once, I'd like to break the speed limit on the other side of the road 1. Newark was booked solid [Music: "Werewolves of London" by Warren Zevon] Compiled by Sue Trowbridge ---------------------------------------- LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN 11:35 p.m. ET/PT (10:35 CT/MT) on the CBS Television Network ---------------------------------------- On Wednesday's show, Dave welcomes ...actor JAY THOMAS ...lottery winner PAM HIATT ...musical group SOUL ASYLUM [Originally broadcast 6/9/95] ** YOYODYNE IS HIRING. Can you help? ** Yoyodyne Entertainment is growing! We'll pay a $500 bounty to anyone who refers someone to us who we eventually hire. Send e-mail to jobs@yoyo.com for details. The Top Ten List is Copyright (C) 1995 Worldwide Pants, Incorporated. Used with permission. The latest Top Ten can be retrieved at any time by sending e-mail to TOPTEN@INFOMANIA.COM To leave the list, mail LISTSERV@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET with the message SIGNOFF TOPTEN To join the list, mail same with the message SUBSCRIBE TOPTEN Your Name To retrieve old Top Tens, mail same with the message GET TOPTEN ARCHIVE From owner-topten@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET Wed Aug 23 23:30 PDT 1995 Received: from franc.ucdavis.edu by peseta.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id XAA01216; Wed, 23 Aug 1995 23:30:46 -0700 Received: from allison.clark.net by franc.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id XAA14380; Wed, 23 Aug 1995 23:30:22 -0700 Received: from allison (allison.clark.net [168.143.0.3]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with SMTP id CAA02793; Thu, 24 Aug 1995 02:20:03 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.CLARK.NET by LISTSERV.CLARK.NET (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8a) with spool id 32748 for TOPTEN@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET; Thu, 24 Aug 1995 00:04:58 -0400 Received: from sowebo.charm.net (sowebo.charm.net [199.0.70.21]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with SMTP id AAA18373 for ; Thu, 24 Aug 1995 00:04:56 -0400 Received: from listserv.clark.net by sowebo.charm.net; Thu, 24 Aug 95 00:04 EDT MIME-Version: 1.0 Approved-By: Sue Trowbridge Message-ID: Date: Thu, 24 Aug 1995 00:04:03 -0400 Reply-To: topten-request Sender: "David Letterman's Top-10" From: Sue Trowbridge Subject: TOP TEN LIST - Wed 8/23/95 To: Multiple recipients of list TOPTEN Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Content-Length: 2084 Status: O > From New York: Are you gonna finish that beer, officer? ... it's THE TOP TEN LIST for Wednesday, August 23, 1995. And now, a man who will chart your horoscope for 19.99 ... David Letterman! > From the home office in Sioux City, Iowa ... TOP TEN PROPOSED NEW BASEBALL RULES [Originally broadcast 6/9/95] 10. Clothing optional in dugouts 9. Infield chatter must be in the form of a question 8. Knock out beer vendor with ball and you automatically win the game 7. Extra outs for every person on your team named "Mookie", "Scooter" or "Pee Wee" 6. Games will not start until the players' drugs have kicked in 5. No more keeping your eye on the ball 4. Goodbye Gatorade, hello Riunite! 3. If catcher snags your pop foul, he gets to make out with your wife in the stands for awhile 2. No team roster may include more than two dismissed Simpson jurors 1. Reach a base. Do a shot. [Music: "Glory Days" by Bruce Springsteen] Compiled by Sue Trowbridge ---------------------------------------- LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN 11:35 p.m. ET/PT (10:35 CT/MT) on the CBS Television Network ---------------------------------------- On Thursday's show, Dave welcomes ...Senator BOB DOLE ...singer PAM TILLIS ...actress MARY LOUISE PARKER [Originally broadcast 2/3/95] ** YOYODYNE IS HIRING. Can you help? ** Yoyodyne Entertainment is growing! We'll pay a $500 bounty to anyone who refers someone to us who we eventually hire. Send e-mail to jobs@yoyo.com for details. The Top Ten List is Copyright (C) 1995 Worldwide Pants, Incorporated. Used with permission. The latest Top Ten can be retrieved at any time by sending e-mail to TOPTEN@INFOMANIA.COM To leave the list, mail LISTSERV@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET with the message SIGNOFF TOPTEN To join the list, mail same with the message SUBSCRIBE TOPTEN Your Name To retrieve old Top Tens, mail same with the message GET TOPTEN ARCHIVE From owner-topten@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET Tue Aug 29 06:44 PDT 1995 Received: from franc.ucdavis.edu by peseta.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id GAA26762; Tue, 29 Aug 1995 06:44:25 -0700 Received: from allison.clark.net by franc.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id GAA05007; Tue, 29 Aug 1995 06:43:14 -0700 Received: from allison (allison.clark.net [168.143.0.3]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with SMTP id JAA20858; Tue, 29 Aug 1995 09:31:41 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.CLARK.NET by LISTSERV.CLARK.NET (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8a) with spool id 21264 for TOPTEN@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET; Tue, 29 Aug 1995 07:40:01 -0400 Received: from sowebo.charm.net (sowebo.charm.net [199.0.70.21]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with SMTP id AAA15308 for ; Tue, 29 Aug 1995 00:17:58 -0400 Received: from listserv.clark.net by sowebo.charm.net; Tue, 29 Aug 95 00:17 EDT MIME-Version: 1.0 Approved-By: Sue Trowbridge Message-ID: Date: Tue, 29 Aug 1995 00:17:08 -0400 Reply-To: topten-request Sender: "David Letterman's Top-10" From: Sue Trowbridge Subject: TOP TEN LIST - Mon 8/28/95 To: Multiple recipients of list TOPTEN Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Content-Length: 2119 Status: RO > From the Ed Sullivan Theater in New York City: it's THE TOP TEN LIST for Monday, August 28, 1995. And now, the man I invited for Christmas dinner ... David Letterman! > From the home office in Sioux City, Iowa ... TOP TEN WAYS THE NEW SHOW WILL BE BETTER [Originally broadcast 8/30/93] 10. Kids watch free 9. No more relying on cheap G.E. jokes (unless we're really stuck) 8. My new "Rappin' Dave" character 7. Inhaling asbestos particles from renovation makes me extra "wacky" 6. If they applaud really loudly, everyone in tonight's audience gets a brand new car! 5. No more pressure to book NBC President Robert C. Wright's son-in- law, Marv Albert 4. It's the same show, better time, new sta -- oh, for the love of God, stop saying that! 3. I'm more focused since my break-up with Loni 2. Every Friday Paul and I swap medication 1. A whole new wardrobe for Vanna! [Music: "Late Show" theme by Paul Shaffer] Compiled by Sue Trowbridge ---------------------------------------- LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN 11:35 p.m. ET/PT (10:35 CT/MT) on the CBS Television Network ---------------------------------------- On Tuesday's show, Dave welcomes ...actor ROBIN WILLIAMS ...singer JOHN MELLENCAMP ...4-year-old geography expert JONATHAN ESTRADA [Originally broadcast 8/31/93] WIN A TRIP TO THE 1995 WORLD SERIES. Play Batter Up! presented by Major League Baseball, sponsored by internetMCI, and designed by Yoyodyne Entertainment. To register, send an e-mail to BatterUp@internetMCI.yoyo.com. The Top Ten List is Copyright (C) 1995 Worldwide Pants, Incorporated. Used with permission. The latest Top Ten can be retrieved at any time by sending e-mail to TOPTEN@INFOMANIA.COM To leave the list, mail LISTSERV@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET with the message SIGNOFF TOPTEN To join the list, mail same with the message SUBSCRIBE TOPTEN Your Name To retrieve old Top Tens, mail same with the message GET TOPTEN ARCHIVE From owner-topten@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET Thu Aug 31 01:28 PDT 1995 Received: from franc.ucdavis.edu by peseta.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id BAA11621; Thu, 31 Aug 1995 01:28:26 -0700 Received: from allison.clark.net by franc.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id BAA25136; Thu, 31 Aug 1995 01:26:59 -0700 Received: from allison (allison.clark.net [168.143.0.3]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with SMTP id EAA04842; Thu, 31 Aug 1995 04:12:58 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.CLARK.NET by LISTSERV.CLARK.NET (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8a) with spool id 49974 for TOPTEN@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET; Thu, 31 Aug 1995 00:12:14 -0400 Received: from sowebo.charm.net (sowebo.charm.net [199.0.70.21]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with SMTP id AAA03865 for ; Wed, 30 Aug 1995 00:01:55 -0400 Received: from listserv.clark.net by sowebo.charm.net; Wed, 30 Aug 95 00:01 EDT MIME-Version: 1.0 Approved-By: Sue Trowbridge Message-ID: Date: Wed, 30 Aug 1995 00:01:02 -0400 Reply-To: topten-request Sender: "David Letterman's Top-10" From: Sue Trowbridge Subject: TOP TEN LIST - Tue 8/29/95 To: Multiple recipients of list TOPTEN Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Content-Length: 2125 Status: O > From New York: Be part of an angry mob every day ... it's THE TOP TEN LIST for Tuesday, August 29, 1995. And now, a man who still calls his CD player "the hi-fi" ... David Letterman! > From the home office in Sioux City, Iowa ... TOP TEN THINGS WE LIKE ABOUT CBS [Originally broadcast 8/31/93] 10. You got a problem? The CBS "family" takes care of it. 9. The strong, understanding hands of Mr. Charles Kuralt 8. Doesn't have foul-smelling disease-carrying bird mascot 7. When Angela Lansbury fixes your outboard motor, it stays fixed 6. Chance to see Harry Smith naked in CBS sauna 5. Have Canadian music director that looks just like our old one 4. Candice Bergen curses like a sailor at company retreat 3. Three out of every five male employees named "Morley" 2. Whole nation touched by the heartfelt attempt of Dan Rather & Connie Chung to have a baby 1. Executives are much more advanced form of weasel [Music: "Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor] Compiled by Sue Trowbridge ---------------------------------------- LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN 11:35 p.m. ET/PT (10:35 CT/MT) on the CBS Television Network ---------------------------------------- On Wednesday's show, Dave welcomes ...actress DEMI MOORE ...musical group SPIN DOCTORS ...baker BEV TANNER [Originally broadcast 9/1/93] WIN A TRIP TO THE 1995 WORLD SERIES. Play Batter Up! presented by Major League Baseball, sponsored by internetMCI, and designed by Yoyodyne Entertainment. To register, send an e-mail to BatterUp@internetMCI.yoyo.com. The Top Ten List is Copyright (C) 1995 Worldwide Pants, Incorporated. Used with permission. The latest Top Ten can be retrieved at any time by sending e-mail to TOPTEN@INFOMANIA.COM To leave the list, mail LISTSERV@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET with the message SIGNOFF TOPTEN To join the list, mail same with the message SUBSCRIBE TOPTEN Your Name To retrieve old Top Tens, mail same with the message GET TOPTEN ARCHIVE From owner-topten@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET Thu Aug 31 16:55 PDT 1995 Received: from guilder.ucdavis.edu by peseta.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id QAA11341; Thu, 31 Aug 1995 16:55:37 -0700 Received: from allison.clark.net by guilder.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id QAA22196; Thu, 31 Aug 1995 16:54:33 -0700 Received: from allison (allison.clark.net [168.143.0.3]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with SMTP id TAA13492; Thu, 31 Aug 1995 19:11:30 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.CLARK.NET by LISTSERV.CLARK.NET (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8a) with spool id 61604 for TOPTEN@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET; Thu, 31 Aug 1995 16:46:27 -0400 Received: from sowebo.charm.net (sowebo.charm.net [199.0.70.21]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with SMTP id AAA17080 for ; Thu, 31 Aug 1995 00:20:25 -0400 Received: from listserv.clark.net by sowebo.charm.net; Thu, 31 Aug 95 00:19 EDT Precedence: bulk MIME-Version: 1.0 Approved-By: Sue Trowbridge Message-ID: Date: Thu, 31 Aug 1995 00:19:22 -0400 Reply-To: topten-request Sender: "David Letterman's Top-10" From: Sue Trowbridge Subject: TOP TEN LIST - Wed 8/30/95 To: Multiple recipients of list TOPTEN Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Content-Length: 3478 Status: O [Due to problems with the listserv, last night's list was not received by our subscribers. It is appended to the bottom of tonight's lists.] > From New York: Tonight's winning numbers are 17, 11, 22 and 6 ... it's THE TOP TEN LIST for Wednesday, August 30, 1995. And now, a man who is exhausted from all the hammering... David Letterman! > From the home office in Sioux City, Iowa ... TOP TEN SIGNS YOUR NEW JOB ISN'T WORKING OUT [Originally broadcast 9/1/93] 10. You have a desk, but no chair 9. Co-workers always punching you in the stomach 8. You see CBS Chairman Larry Tisch having dinner with Conan O'Brien 7. You get stung by a bee (not really a sign your new job isn't working out, but just as upsetting) 6. You work for NASA and your title is "Executive in Charge of Space Probe Quality Control" 5. After work, you go nuts and throw firecrackers into a crowd of people 4. Your company physical is scheduled with Dr. Kevorkian 3. People start saying maybe they should have elected your wife Hillary president 2. In your one-page performance report, the word "sucks" appears twelve times 1. Your office nickname: "Deadwood" BONUS LIST: TOP TEN NAMES FOR DEMI'S NEW BABY 10. Beavis 9. Forklift 8. Kemo Sabe 7. Ibuprofen 6. Siskel 5. Dr. Pepper 4. Marmaduke 3. Manute 2. Retsyn 1. Buttafuoco > From New York: Be part of an angry mob every day ... it's THE TOP TEN LIST for Tuesday, August 29, 1995. And now, a man who still calls his CD player "the hi-fi" ... David Letterman! > From the home office in Sioux City, Iowa ... TOP TEN THINGS WE LIKE ABOUT CBS [Originally broadcast 8/31/93] 10. You got a problem? The CBS "family" takes care of it. 9. The strong, understanding hands of Mr. Charles Kuralt 8. Doesn't have foul-smelling disease-carrying bird mascot 7. When Angela Lansbury fixes your outboard motor, it stays fixed 6. Chance to see Harry Smith naked in CBS sauna 5. Have Canadian music director that looks just like our old one 4. Candice Bergen curses like a sailor at company retreat 3. Three out of every five male employees named "Morley" 2. Whole nation touched by the heartfelt attempt of Dan Rather & Connie Chung to have a baby 1. Executives are much more advanced form of weasel [Music: "Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor] Compiled by Sue Trowbridge ---------------------------------------- LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN 11:35 p.m. ET/PT (10:35 CT/MT) on the CBS Television Network ---------------------------------------- On Thursday's show, Dave welcomes ...actor MARTIN SHORT ...singer CYNDI LAUPER [Originally broadcast 9/2/93] WIN A TRIP TO THE 1995 WORLD SERIES. Play Batter Up! presented by Major League Baseball, sponsored by internetMCI, and designed by Yoyodyne Entertainment. To register, send an e-mail to BatterUp@internetMCI.yoyo.com. The Top Ten List is Copyright (C) 1995 Worldwide Pants, Incorporated. Used with permission. The latest Top Ten can be retrieved at any time by sending e-mail to TOPTEN@INFOMANIA.COM To leave the list, mail LISTSERV@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET with the message SIGNOFF TOPTEN To join the list, mail same with the message SUBSCRIBE TOPTEN Your Name To retrieve old Top Tens, mail same with the message GET TOPTEN ARCHIVE From owner-topten@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET Thu Aug 31 23:24 PDT 1995 Received: from guilder.ucdavis.edu by peseta.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id XAA17234; Thu, 31 Aug 1995 23:24:39 -0700 Received: from allison.clark.net by guilder.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id XAA04422; Thu, 31 Aug 1995 23:23:33 -0700 Received: from allison (allison.clark.net [168.143.0.3]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with SMTP id CAA11779; Fri, 1 Sep 1995 02:08:37 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.CLARK.NET by LISTSERV.CLARK.NET (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8a) with spool id 81230 for TOPTEN@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET; Fri, 1 Sep 1995 00:10:55 -0400 Received: from sowebo.charm.net (sowebo.charm.net [199.0.70.21]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with SMTP id AAA29821 for ; Fri, 1 Sep 1995 00:10:50 -0400 Received: from listserv.clark.net by sowebo.charm.net; Fri, 1 Sep 95 00:09 EDT Precedence: bulk MIME-Version: 1.0 Approved-By: Sue Trowbridge Message-ID: Date: Fri, 1 Sep 1995 00:09:39 -0400 Reply-To: topten-request Sender: "David Letterman's Top-10" From: Sue Trowbridge Subject: TOP TEN LIST - Thu 8/31/95 To: Multiple recipients of list TOPTEN Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Content-Length: 1747 Status: O > From New York: it's THE TOP TEN LIST for Thursday, August 31, 1995. And now, the last major leaguer to bat .400 ... David Letterman! > From the home office in Sioux City, Iowa ... TOP TEN REJECTED NAMES FOR THE NEW SHOW [Originally broadcast 9/2/93] 10. "Dave's Def Talk Show Jam" 9. "Bonehead at a Desk" 8. "Sally Jessy Letterman" 7. "Tell the Jokes and Watch Them Die" 6. "The Stolen Intellectual Property Show" 5. "The All-New Adventures of Necktie Boy" 4. "Senor Dave's Fiesta del Cha-Cha" 3. "Dave Connection" 2. "The Million-Dollar Mistake" 1. "Paul Shaffer and Butthead" [Music: Theme from "Bonanza"] Compiled by Sue Trowbridge ---------------------------------------- LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN 11:35 p.m. ET/PT (10:35 CT/MT) on the CBS Television Network ---------------------------------------- On Friday's show, Dave welcomes ...actress DEBRA WINGER ...musical group SOUL ASYLUM [Originally broadcast 9/3/93] WIN A TRIP TO THE 1995 WORLD SERIES. Play Batter Up! presented by Major League Baseball, sponsored by internetMCI, and designed by Yoyodyne Entertainment. To register, send an e-mail to BatterUp@internetMCI.yoyo.com. The Top Ten List is Copyright (C) 1995 Worldwide Pants, Incorporated. Used with permission. The latest Top Ten can be retrieved at any time by sending e-mail to TOPTEN@INFOMANIA.COM To leave the list, mail LISTSERV@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET with the message SIGNOFF TOPTEN To join the list, mail same with the message SUBSCRIBE TOPTEN Your Name To retrieve old Top Tens, mail same with the message GET TOPTEN ARCHIVE From owner-topten@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET Tue Sep 5 01:41 PDT 1995 Received: from franc.ucdavis.edu by peseta.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id BAA03982; Tue, 5 Sep 1995 01:41:57 -0700 Received: from allison.clark.net by franc.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id BAA06346; Tue, 5 Sep 1995 01:39:44 -0700 Received: from allison (allison.clark.net [168.143.0.3]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with SMTP id EAA28326; Tue, 5 Sep 1995 04:20:58 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.CLARK.NET by LISTSERV.CLARK.NET (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8a) with spool id 105008 for TOPTEN@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET; Mon, 4 Sep 1995 23:36:14 -0400 Received: from sowebo.charm.net (sowebo.charm.net [199.0.70.21]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with SMTP id AAA14093 for ; Sat, 2 Sep 1995 00:21:52 -0400 Received: from listserv.clark.net by sowebo.charm.net; Sat, 2 Sep 95 00:03 EDT Precedence: bulk MIME-Version: 1.0 Approved-By: Sue Trowbridge Message-ID: Date: Sat, 2 Sep 1995 00:03:54 -0400 Reply-To: topten-request Sender: "David Letterman's Top-10" From: Sue Trowbridge Subject: TOP TEN LIST - Fri 9/1/95 To: Multiple recipients of list TOPTEN Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Content-Length: 1560 Status: O > From New York: If you can park here, you can park anywhere ... it's THE TOP TEN LIST for Friday, September 1, 1995. And now, the first lady of Broadway ... David Letterman! > From the home office in Sioux City, Iowa ... TOP TEN NUMBERS FROM ONE TO TEN [Presented by Casey Kasem; originally broadcast 9/3/93] 10. Ten 9. Nine 8. Six 7. Five 6. Eight 5. One 4. Four 3. Three 2. Seven 1. Two [Music: Top Ten List intro music] Compiled by Sue Trowbridge ---------------------------------------- LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN 11:35 p.m. ET/PT (10:35 CT/MT) on the CBS Television Network ---------------------------------------- On Monday's show, Dave welcomes ...actor KEVIN SPACEY ...comedian JEFF FOXWORTHY ...musical group COLLECTIVE SOUL WIN A TRIP TO THE 1995 WORLD SERIES. Play Batter Up! presented by Major League Baseball, sponsored by internetMCI, and designed by Yoyodyne Entertainment. To register, send an e-mail to BatterUp@internetMCI.yoyo.com. The Top Ten List is Copyright (C) 1995 Worldwide Pants, Incorporated. Used with permission. The latest Top Ten can be retrieved at any time by sending e-mail to TOPTEN@INFOMANIA.COM To leave the list, mail LISTSERV@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET with the message SIGNOFF TOPTEN To join the list, mail same with the message SUBSCRIBE TOPTEN Your Name To retrieve old Top Tens, mail same with the message GET TOPTEN ARCHIVE From owner-topten@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET Tue Sep 5 05:39 PDT 1995 Received: from franc.ucdavis.edu by peseta.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id FAA13151; Tue, 5 Sep 1995 05:39:19 -0700 Received: from allison.clark.net by franc.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id FAA11525; Tue, 5 Sep 1995 05:37:05 -0700 Received: from allison (allison.clark.net [168.143.0.3]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with SMTP id IAA20519; Tue, 5 Sep 1995 08:24:00 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.CLARK.NET by LISTSERV.CLARK.NET (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8a) with spool id 105918 for TOPTEN@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET; Tue, 5 Sep 1995 06:05:58 -0400 Received: from nuchat.sccsi.com (nuchat.sccsi.com [198.65.128.16]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with SMTP id OAA27203 for ; Sat, 2 Sep 1995 14:30:06 -0400 Received: by nuchat.sccsi.com (/\==/\ Smail3.1.25.1 #25.2) id ; Sat, 2 Sep 95 13:33 CDT X-HoloGate: 1.1.5 Lines: 413 Approved-By: trow@CHARM.NET Message-ID: <0001B60A.HAAUGroup.NovaLink@haaug.org> Date: Thu, 31 Aug 1995 00:19:22 -0400 Reply-To: "David Letterman's Top-10" Sender: "David Letterman's Top-10" From: trow@charm.net Organization: Houston Area Apple Users Group Subject: TOP TEN LIST - Wed 8/30/95 To: Multiple recipients of list TOPTEN Content-Type: text Content-Length: 3478 Status: O [Due to problems with the listserv, last night's list was not received by our subscribers. It is appended to the bottom of tonight's lists.] > From New York: Tonight's winning numbers are 17, 11, 22 and 6 ... it's THE TOP TEN LIST for Wednesday, August 30, 1995. And now, a man who is exhausted from all the hammering... David Letterman! > From the home office in Sioux City, Iowa ... TOP TEN SIGNS YOUR NEW JOB ISN'T WORKING OUT [Originally broadcast 9/1/93] 10. You have a desk, but no chair 9. Co-workers always punching you in the stomach 8. You see CBS Chairman Larry Tisch having dinner with Conan O'Brien 7. You get stung by a bee (not really a sign your new job isn't working out, but just as upsetting) 6. You work for NASA and your title is "Executive in Charge of Space Probe Quality Control" 5. After work, you go nuts and throw firecrackers into a crowd of people 4. Your company physical is scheduled with Dr. Kevorkian 3. People start saying maybe they should have elected your wife Hillary president 2. In your one-page performance report, the word "sucks" appears twelve times 1. Your office nickname: "Deadwood" BONUS LIST: TOP TEN NAMES FOR DEMI'S NEW BABY 10. Beavis 9. Forklift 8. Kemo Sabe 7. Ibuprofen 6. Siskel 5. Dr. Pepper 4. Marmaduke 3. Manute 2. Retsyn 1. Buttafuoco > From New York: Be part of an angry mob every day ... it's THE TOP TEN LIST for Tuesday, August 29, 1995. And now, a man who still calls his CD player "the hi-fi" ... David Letterman! > From the home office in Sioux City, Iowa ... TOP TEN THINGS WE LIKE ABOUT CBS [Originally broadcast 8/31/93] 10. You got a problem? The CBS "family" takes care of it. 9. The strong, understanding hands of Mr. Charles Kuralt 8. Doesn't have foul-smelling disease-carrying bird mascot 7. When Angela Lansbury fixes your outboard motor, it stays fixed 6. Chance to see Harry Smith naked in CBS sauna 5. Have Canadian music director that looks just like our old one 4. Candice Bergen curses like a sailor at company retreat 3. Three out of every five male employees named "Morley" 2. Whole nation touched by the heartfelt attempt of Dan Rather & Connie Chung to have a baby 1. Executives are much more advanced form of weasel [Music: "Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor] Compiled by Sue Trowbridge ---------------------------------------- LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN 11:35 p.m. ET/PT (10:35 CT/MT) on the CBS Television Network ---------------------------------------- On Thursday's show, Dave welcomes ...actor MARTIN SHORT ...singer CYNDI LAUPER [Originally broadcast 9/2/93] WIN A TRIP TO THE 1995 WORLD SERIES. Play Batter Up! presented by Major League Baseball, sponsored by internetMCI, and designed by Yoyodyne Entertainment. To register, send an e-mail to BatterUp@internetMCI.yoyo.com. The Top Ten List is Copyright (C) 1995 Worldwide Pants, Incorporated. Used with permission. The latest Top Ten can be retrieved at any time by sending e-mail to TOPTEN@INFOMANIA.COM To leave the list, mail LISTSERV@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET with the message SIGNOFF TOPTEN To join the list, mail same with the message SUBSCRIBE TOPTEN Your Name To retrieve old Top Tens, mail same with the message GET TOPTEN ARCHIVE From owner-topten@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET Wed Sep 6 17:57 PDT 1995 Received: from franc.ucdavis.edu by peseta.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id RAA28590; Wed, 6 Sep 1995 17:57:04 -0700 Received: from allison.clark.net by franc.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id RAA13386; Wed, 6 Sep 1995 17:54:35 -0700 Received: from allison (allison.clark.net [168.143.0.3]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with SMTP id UAA13937; Wed, 6 Sep 1995 20:23:39 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.CLARK.NET by LISTSERV.CLARK.NET (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8a) with spool id 137048 for TOPTEN@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET; Wed, 6 Sep 1995 16:20:16 -0400 Received: from sowebo.charm.net (sowebo.charm.net [199.0.70.21]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with SMTP id AAA15782 for ; Wed, 6 Sep 1995 00:11:09 -0400 Received: from listserv.clark.net by sowebo.charm.net; Wed, 6 Sep 95 00:09 EDT Precedence: bulk MIME-Version: 1.0 Approved-By: Sue Trowbridge Message-ID: Date: Wed, 6 Sep 1995 00:08:58 -0400 Reply-To: topten-request Sender: "David Letterman's Top-10" From: Sue Trowbridge Subject: TOP TEN LIST - Tue 9/6/95 To: Multiple recipients of list TOPTEN Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Content-Length: 2111 Status: RO > From New York: Don't take it personally, Chester ... it's THE TOP TEN LIST for Tuesday, September 6, 1995. And now, your inner child's best friend ... David Letterman! > From the home office in Grand Rapids, Michigan ... TOP TEN THINGS OVERHEARD AT THE WORLD CONFERENCE FOR WOMEN 10. "Hey Reno, you left the seat up again" 9. "Don't shove -- you'll all get a chance to slap Bob Packwood" 8. "Anna Nicole Smith sure seems to be warming up to Deng Xiao Peng" 7. "Are the men gone? Okay -- bring out the Tupperware!" 6. "Is it true that every American woman must sleep with President Clinton?" 5. "You used to date Martina? I used to date Martina!" 4. "And now for your entertainment pleasure -- the Chippendale Dissident Dancers!" 3. "Hi, I'm Larry King, here's my phone number, how do you do, I'm Larry King, here's my number" 2. "Mrs. Mandela, quit hogging the cookie dough" 1. "What's Richard Simmons doing here?" [Music: "I Am Woman" by Helen Reddy] Compiled by Sue Trowbridge ---------------------------------------- LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN 11:35 p.m. ET/PT (10:35 CT/MT) on the CBS Television Network ---------------------------------------- On Wednesday's show, Dave welcomes ...actor PATRICK SWAYZE ...musical group HOOTIE AND THE BLOWFISH ...actor KEVIN POLLAK WIN A TRIP TO THE 1995 WORLD SERIES. Play Batter Up! presented by Major League Baseball, sponsored by internetMCI, and designed by Yoyodyne Entertainment. To register, send an e-mail to BatterUp@internetMCI.yoyo.com. The Top Ten List is Copyright (C) 1995 Worldwide Pants, Incorporated. Used with permission. The latest Top Ten can be retrieved at any time by sending e-mail to TOPTEN@INFOMANIA.COM To leave the list, mail LISTSERV@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET with the message SIGNOFF TOPTEN To join the list, mail same with the message SUBSCRIBE TOPTEN Your Name To retrieve old Top Tens, mail same with the message GET TOPTEN ARCHIVE From owner-topten@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET Wed Sep 6 22:55 PDT 1995 Received: from franc.ucdavis.edu by peseta.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id WAA26131; Wed, 6 Sep 1995 22:55:28 -0700 Received: from allison.clark.net by franc.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id WAA02338; Wed, 6 Sep 1995 22:52:58 -0700 Received: from allison (allison.clark.net [168.143.0.3]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with SMTP id BAA23104; Thu, 7 Sep 1995 01:06:11 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.CLARK.NET by LISTSERV.CLARK.NET (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8a) with spool id 112601 for TOPTEN@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET; Wed, 6 Sep 1995 23:13:26 -0400 Received: from sowebo.charm.net (sowebo.charm.net [199.0.70.21]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with SMTP id AAA13967 for ; Tue, 5 Sep 1995 00:11:27 -0400 Received: from listserv.clark.net by sowebo.charm.net; Tue, 5 Sep 95 00:09 EDT Precedence: bulk MIME-Version: 1.0 Approved-By: Sue Trowbridge Message-ID: Date: Tue, 5 Sep 1995 00:09:29 -0400 Reply-To: topten-request Sender: "David Letterman's Top-10" From: Sue Trowbridge Subject: TOP TEN LIST - Mon 9/4/95 To: Multiple recipients of list TOPTEN Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Content-Length: 2207 Status: RO > From New York: Who the hell am I? ... it's THE TOP TEN LIST for Monday, September 4, 1995. And now, God, don't let me screw this up ... Don LeHerman! [Note: New announcer Alan Calder made his debut on tonight's show.] > From the home office in Grand Rapids, Michigan ... TOP TEN SIGNS THAT YOUR PICNIC SUCKS 10. Whenever there's the slightest breeze, Peter McNeeley falls ass- first into potato salad 9. The blanket you're sitting on is from Heidi Fleiss place 8. The "caraway seeds" in the cole slaw look suspiciously like deer ticks 7. Your picnic companion is inflatable 6. That red dog from the beer commercials gets drunk and tries to mate with your roast chicken 5. Your original campfire has now consumed 5,000 acres 4. You have to spend all day consoling a weeping Larry Fortensky 3. Instead of mayonnaise, elderly aunt has used Vicks Vap-O-Rub on sandwiches 2. In mix-up, your picnic chest contains Larry Hagman's liver 1. O.J. keeps "accidentally" hitting people with lawn darts [Music: "Stoned Soul Picnic" by the Fifth Dimension (written by Laura Nyro)] Compiled by Sue Trowbridge ---------------------------------------- LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN 11:35 p.m. ET/PT (10:35 CT/MT) on the CBS Television Network ---------------------------------------- On Tuesday's show, Dave welcomes ...talk show host TOM SNYDER ...actress JANEANE GAROFALO ...singer FAITH HILL WIN A TRIP TO THE 1995 WORLD SERIES. Play Batter Up! presented by Major League Baseball, sponsored by internetMCI, and designed by Yoyodyne Entertainment. To register, send an e-mail to BatterUp@internetMCI.yoyo.com. The Top Ten List is Copyright (C) 1995 Worldwide Pants, Incorporated. Used with permission. The latest Top Ten can be retrieved at any time by sending e-mail to TOPTEN@INFOMANIA.COM To leave the list, mail LISTSERV@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET with the message SIGNOFF TOPTEN To join the list, mail same with the message SUBSCRIBE TOPTEN Your Name To retrieve old Top Tens, mail same with the message GET TOPTEN ARCHIVE From owner-topten@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET Thu Sep 7 08:31 PDT 1995 Received: from guilder.ucdavis.edu by peseta.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id IAA07156; Thu, 7 Sep 1995 08:31:07 -0700 Received: from allison.clark.net by guilder.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id IAA25654; Thu, 7 Sep 1995 08:29:11 -0700 Received: from allison (allison.clark.net [168.143.0.3]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with SMTP id KAA18621; Thu, 7 Sep 1995 10:13:15 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.CLARK.NET by LISTSERV.CLARK.NET (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8a) with spool id 157804 for TOPTEN@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET; Thu, 7 Sep 1995 07:46:05 -0400 Received: from sowebo.charm.net (sowebo.charm.net [199.0.70.21]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with SMTP id AAA17666 for ; Thu, 7 Sep 1995 00:11:04 -0400 Received: from listserv.clark.net by sowebo.charm.net; Thu, 7 Sep 95 00:10 EDT Precedence: bulk MIME-Version: 1.0 Approved-By: Sue Trowbridge Message-ID: Date: Thu, 7 Sep 1995 00:10:08 -0400 Reply-To: topten-request Sender: "David Letterman's Top-10" From: Sue Trowbridge Subject: TOP TEN LIST - Wed 9/6/95 To: Multiple recipients of list TOPTEN Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Content-Length: 1984 Status: RO > From New York: Home of the Whopper ... it's THE TOP TEN LIST for Wednesday, September 6, 1995. And now, the first man to believe in me since Liz dumped me ... David Letterman! > From the home office in Grand Rapids, Michigan ... TOP TEN HORRIFYING SECRETS OF CAL RIPKEN 10. For the last year, has eaten nothing but deep-fried oriole 9. Thinks he's breaking the "Lou Grant" record 8. Corks his pants 7. Just like Lassie, there are five Cal Ripkens. Each one has played in only 426 consecutive games. 6. Once planted a bloody first-baseman's glove 5. According to Mrs. Ripken, not exactly an "iron man" in the bedroom 4. Also has perfect attendance at the local "Hooters" 3. Recently considered skipping a game to attend a John Tesh concert 2. Has been spotted leaving Marge Schott's place early in the morning 1. Two words: switch hitter [Music: "Fire" by the Ohio Players] Compiled by Sue Trowbridge ---------------------------------------- LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN 11:35 p.m. ET/PT (10:35 CT/MT) on the CBS Television Network ---------------------------------------- On Thursday's show, Dave welcomes ...actor TIM ALLEN ...highdiving champ CARI FLANAGAN HUTCHINSON WIN A TRIP TO THE 1995 WORLD SERIES. Play Batter Up! presented by Major League Baseball, sponsored by internetMCI, and designed by Yoyodyne Entertainment. To register, send an e-mail to BatterUp@internetMCI.yoyo.com. The Top Ten List is Copyright (C) 1995 Worldwide Pants, Incorporated. Used with permission. The latest Top Ten can be retrieved at any time by sending e-mail to TOPTEN@INFOMANIA.COM To leave the list, mail LISTSERV@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET with the message SIGNOFF TOPTEN To join the list, mail same with the message SUBSCRIBE TOPTEN Your Name To retrieve old Top Tens, mail same with the message GET TOPTEN ARCHIVE From owner-topten@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET Sat Sep 9 01:57 PDT 1995 Received: from guilder.ucdavis.edu by peseta.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id BAA12108; Sat, 9 Sep 1995 01:57:22 -0700 Received: from allison.clark.net by guilder.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id BAA15233; Sat, 9 Sep 1995 01:55:13 -0700 Received: from allison (allison.clark.net [168.143.0.3]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with SMTP id EAA23138; Sat, 9 Sep 1995 04:43:30 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.CLARK.NET by LISTSERV.CLARK.NET (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8a) with spool id 176769 for TOPTEN@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET; Sat, 9 Sep 1995 00:27:15 -0400 Received: from dino.conicit.ve (dino.conicit.ve [150.188.1.10]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with SMTP id XAA21379 for ; Thu, 7 Sep 1995 23:59:28 -0400 Received: from ssebbs.UUCP by dino.conicit.ve (4.1/SMI-4.1/RP-1.2) id AA22560; Tue, 5 Sep 1995 00:09:29 -0400 X-Hologate: 1.1.6b2 Lines: 511 Approved-By: trow@CHARM.NET Message-ID: <000164AE.SpaceShip_Earth.NovaLink@ssebbs.uunet.ve> Date: Tue, 5 Sep 1995 00:09:29 -0400 Reply-To: "David Letterman's Top-10" Sender: "David Letterman's Top-10" From: trow@charm.net Organization: SpaceShip Earth BBS - Salva al Planeta Tierra! Subject: TOP TEN LIST - Mon 9/4/95 To: Multiple recipients of list TOPTEN Content-Type: text Content-Length: 2207 Status: O > From New York: Who the hell am I? ... it's THE TOP TEN LIST for Monday, September 4, 1995. And now, God, don't let me screw this up ... Don LeHerman! [Note: New announcer Alan Calder made his debut on tonight's show.] > From the home office in Grand Rapids, Michigan ... TOP TEN SIGNS THAT YOUR PICNIC SUCKS 10. Whenever there's the slightest breeze, Peter McNeeley falls ass- first into potato salad 9. The blanket you're sitting on is from Heidi Fleiss place 8. The "caraway seeds" in the cole slaw look suspiciously like deer ticks 7. Your picnic companion is inflatable 6. That red dog from the beer commercials gets drunk and tries to mate with your roast chicken 5. Your original campfire has now consumed 5,000 acres 4. You have to spend all day consoling a weeping Larry Fortensky 3. Instead of mayonnaise, elderly aunt has used Vicks Vap-O-Rub on sandwiches 2. In mix-up, your picnic chest contains Larry Hagman's liver 1. O.J. keeps "accidentally" hitting people with lawn darts [Music: "Stoned Soul Picnic" by the Fifth Dimension (written by Laura Nyro)] Compiled by Sue Trowbridge ---------------------------------------- LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN 11:35 p.m. ET/PT (10:35 CT/MT) on the CBS Television Network ---------------------------------------- On Tuesday's show, Dave welcomes ...talk show host TOM SNYDER ...actress JANEANE GAROFALO ...singer FAITH HILL WIN A TRIP TO THE 1995 WORLD SERIES. Play Batter Up! presented by Major League Baseball, sponsored by internetMCI, and designed by Yoyodyne Entertainment. To register, send an e-mail to BatterUp@internetMCI.yoyo.com. The Top Ten List is Copyright (C) 1995 Worldwide Pants, Incorporated. Used with permission. The latest Top Ten can be retrieved at any time by sending e-mail to TOPTEN@INFOMANIA.COM To leave the list, mail LISTSERV@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET with the message SIGNOFF TOPTEN To join the list, mail same with the message SUBSCRIBE TOPTEN Your Name To retrieve old Top Tens, mail same with the message GET TOPTEN ARCHIVE From owner-topten@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET Sat Sep 9 09:32 PDT 1995 Received: from franc.ucdavis.edu by peseta.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id JAA00826; Sat, 9 Sep 1995 09:32:00 -0700 Received: from allison.clark.net by franc.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id JAA29760; Sat, 9 Sep 1995 09:29:08 -0700 Received: from allison (allison.clark.net [168.143.0.3]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with SMTP id MAA10165; Sat, 9 Sep 1995 12:14:45 -0400 Received: from LISTSERV.CLARK.NET by LISTSERV.CLARK.NET (LISTSERV-TCP/IP release 1.8a) with spool id 189659 for TOPTEN@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET; Sat, 9 Sep 1995 09:38:21 -0400 Received: from sowebo.charm.net (sowebo.charm.net [199.0.70.21]) by allison.clark.net (8.6.12/8.6.5) with SMTP id AAA02577 for ; Sat, 9 Sep 1995 00:08:41 -0400 Received: from listserv.clark.net by sowebo.charm.net; Sat, 9 Sep 95 00:07 EDT Precedence: bulk MIME-Version: 1.0 Approved-By: Sue Trowbridge Message-ID: Date: Sat, 9 Sep 1995 00:07:23 -0400 Reply-To: topten-request Sender: "David Letterman's Top-10" From: Sue Trowbridge Subject: TOP TEN LIST - Fri 9/8/95 To: Multiple recipients of list TOPTEN Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Content-Length: 2031 Status: RO > From New York: Where everyone's got the hiccups ... it's THE TOP TEN LIST for Friday, September 8, 1995. And now, a man who forces me to work 5 days a week, 15 seconds a day ... David Letterman! > From the home office in Grand Rapids, Michigan ... TOP TEN SURPRISES IN THE PACKWOOD DIARIES 10. Often writes letters to "Penthouse" signed "Packing Wood in Washington" 9. Had a brief sexual encounter with the Liberty Bell 8. Those creepy Calvin Klein commercials? Packwood's idea 7. Admits to having a schoolgirl crush on Phil Gramm 6. Woke up naked one morning in the lap of the Abraham Lincoln statue 5. Once broke into Frank Perdue warehouse and spent entire weekend groping chicken parts 4. Has recurring dream where he gets to second base with Betsy Ross 3. Once cold-cocked by Janet Reno 2. Refers to his tongue as "the ethics probe" 1. Has had more sex on his desk than Newt Gingrich [Music: "Dirty Laundry" by Don Henley] Compiled by Sue Trowbridge ---------------------------------------- LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN 11:35 p.m. ET/PT (10:35 CT/MT) on the CBS Television Network ---------------------------------------- On Monday's show, Dave welcomes ...actress FRAN DRESCHER ...musical group PJ HARVEY WIN A TRIP TO THE 1995 WORLD SERIES. Play Batter Up! presented by Major League Baseball, sponsored by internetMCI, and designed by Yoyodyne Entertainment. To register, send an e-mail to BatterUp@internetMCI.yoyo.com. The Top Ten List is Copyright (C) 1995 Worldwide Pants, Incorporated. Used with permission. The latest Top Ten can be retrieved at any time by sending e-mail to TOPTEN@INFOMANIA.COM To leave the list, mail LISTSERV@LISTSERV.CLARK.NET with the message SIGNOFF TOPTEN To join the list, mail same with the message SUBSCRIBE TOPTEN Your Name To retrieve old Top Tens, mail same with the message GET TOPTEN ARCHIVE