From tbw1@acpub.duke.edu Wed Sep 10 14:35 PDT 1997 Received: from schilling.ucdavis.edu by sierra.gis.ucdavis.edu (8.8.5/BCH1.0) id OAA03417; Wed, 10 Sep 1997 14:35:35 -0700 (PDT) Received: from jeter.acpub.duke.edu (jeter.acpub.duke.edu [152.3.233.10]) by schilling.ucdavis.edu (8.8.7/UCD3.11.08) with ESMTP id OAA17541 for ; Wed, 10 Sep 1997 14:35:33 -0700 (PDT) Received: from soc1.acpub.duke.edu (soc1.acpub.duke.edu [152.3.233.164]) by jeter.acpub.duke.edu (8.8.5/Duke-4.5.1) with ESMTP id RAA00823; Wed, 10 Sep 1997 17:02:53 -0400 (EDT) Received: (from tbw1@localhost) by soc1.acpub.duke.edu (8.8.5/Duke-4.4) id RAA03681; Wed, 10 Sep 1997 17:02:41 -0400 (EDT) Date: Wed, 10 Sep 1997 17:02:41 -0400 (EDT) From: Sister Rosetta Stone Subject: Your 'Have A Nice Day' Laugh #0568 (fwd) Message-ID: MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Content-Length: 3040 Status: RO ------------------------------------------------------------- Troy B. Williams tbw1@acpub.duke.edu Home (919) 613-0819 __________________________________ You can get a lot more done with a kind word and a gun, than with a kind word alone. Al Capone -------------------------------------------------------- ---------- Forwarded message ---------- Date: Wed, 10 Sep 1997 08:10:15 -0600 (MDT) From: HAND! To: Recipients - HAND Subject: Your 'Have A Nice Day' Laugh #0568 ***** H.A.N.D. is generously sponsored by 1-800-SEND-123 ********** ~~~~~~ 800-SEND-123 ..remember that's 800-SEND-One-Two-Three ~~~~~~~~ Call to have flowers, balloons, baskets and gifts delivered anywhere in the WORLD. Order by phone. Save 10% say HAND-1296 ~~~~~~~ Ask for FREE color catalog (800)736-3123 ~~~~~~~~~ Your 'Have A Nice Day' Laugh is: Sent in by Aynalem: I'm not offended by all the dumb blond jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blond. - Dolly Parton You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels GOOD for 36 hours. - Rita Rudner I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I've done my job. - Roseanne My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner I was on a date recently, and the guy took me horseback riding. That was kind of fun, until we ran out of quarters. - Susie Loucks This guy says, "I'm perfect for you, 'cause I'm a cross between a macho and a sensitive man." I said, "Oh, a gay trucker?" - Judy Tenuta He tricked me into marrying him. He told me he was pregnant - Carol Leifer I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck If high heels were so wonderful, men would be wearing them. - Sue Grafton I base my fashion taste on what doesn't itch. - Gilda Radner I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. - Roseanne I would love to speak a foreign language, but I can't. So I grew hair under my arms instead. - Sue Kolinsky I look just like the girls next door... if you happen to live next door to an amusement park. - Dolly Parton I found out why cats drink out of the toilet. My mother told me it's because it's cold in there. And I'm like: How did my mother know THAT? - Wendy Liebman I think -- therefore I'm single. - Lizz Winstead HAND! Have A Nice Day! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ To subscribe/unsubscribe to HAND list, send message to majordomo@bapp.com in body type: subscribe HAND Comments, send to Cheryl Rogers - smiles@bapp.com We hope you enjoy this list! .